So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize