Plan B is the new Plan A
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
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