Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize