someone threw a dead crab at me
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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