Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
