Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
