she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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