i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Randomize