Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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