You're so nebulous sometimes
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
