she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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