I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
