id be glad to
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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