I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Randomize
