At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
