we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize