I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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