i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
