But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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