I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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