we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
