this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
