It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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