Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
