Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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