how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
