I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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