Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
