He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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