I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
