God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
