I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize