It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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