Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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