I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
