There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
