Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
