This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
