He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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