I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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