what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
