people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
