i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
