You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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