oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
