Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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