Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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