Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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