Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
