i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
