Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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