I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
