Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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