worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
