the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize