I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I am full of burrito and curiosity
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
