This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize