If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize