Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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