She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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